A year has passed... Ace is now 3, a good age to really start some training a bit more developed physically and mentally. I have realized I am in over my head. I have been out of the saddle for 6 years now. I find a wonderful trainer, Marion. Finally someone who I feel has the same core values and views about horses, and a wonderful natural talent. I have someone trailer my baby up to Princeton, me following all the way in my crummy old Capri, hoping I don't break down, hoping I don't get lost, hoping he will be okay. He has never been to "sleep away camp" before without Mom! I arrive, tuck him nervously into a paddock say my farewells for I will not see him for a month or so. Then I hop back in my be
at up old car and drive home. I am not sure why I went, but I could not bear to just let him get in a trailer and leave. A month later I come back and I really don't think I would have recognized him if it were not for his coloring! He is so muscled, so thick! He looks great and Marion tells me all the wonderful things she does with him. I do a quick round pen session, tack up and off we go. This was the first day of my training... I began on a new path at this fork in the road. I have never been on a ride like that. The beauty of the land, the things a horse can navigate, go down, sliding, hind legs tucked under yet gracefully balance a rider on top! Slippery river rocks, things I thought only the elite trail riders of the world could do, here I was after years out of the saddle on a fresh green 3 year old doing. I then knew I could, he could, we would.
at up old car and drive home. I am not sure why I went, but I could not bear to just let him get in a trailer and leave. A month later I come back and I really don't think I would have recognized him if it were not for his coloring! He is so muscled, so thick! He looks great and Marion tells me all the wonderful things she does with him. I do a quick round pen session, tack up and off we go. This was the first day of my training... I began on a new path at this fork in the road. I have never been on a ride like that. The beauty of the land, the things a horse can navigate, go down, sliding, hind legs tucked under yet gracefully balance a rider on top! Slippery river rocks, things I thought only the elite trail riders of the world could do, here I was after years out of the saddle on a fresh green 3 year old doing. I then knew I could, he could, we would.However a cruel trick of fate found me a few month pregnant with my first child upon this ride. 3 hours of riding, overweight, out of shape, morning sickness. I was pushed to exhaustion as Marion never walks *lol* I came home with my boy, tired, happy, and a bit daunted by how to manage this while pregnant.
The plan: Ride a bit on quiet local trails (Ace is so good), then have the baby, and have an hour to myself every day or so to go for a ride and enjoy the peace.
The reality: Ace lost his shine, realized I was not Marion, we had a few chaotic rides followed by the birth of Cole, who was a baby of extreme colic who nursed every half hour (or more) until he was 6 months, only slept for 1/2 hour-45 mins at a time and wouldn't go to anyone else but Mom.
A year passed. Ace s
at in his paddock, a dream that had become only that, a dream. I was pregnant again! With 2 small children the poor guy sat in his paddock. Looking back I want to cry for him. How bored, how lonley. We got him a pony for a buddy (who was a cheeky mare that bullied him all day), his needs were met for food and shelter. But this amazing potential grew stagnant, then pushy, then cheeky. I lost my nerve, he lost his respect. I had no support in my training, and like him, I became frustrated.
at in his paddock, a dream that had become only that, a dream. I was pregnant again! With 2 small children the poor guy sat in his paddock. Looking back I want to cry for him. How bored, how lonley. We got him a pony for a buddy (who was a cheeky mare that bullied him all day), his needs were met for food and shelter. But this amazing potential grew stagnant, then pushy, then cheeky. I lost my nerve, he lost his respect. I had no support in my training, and like him, I became frustrated.I was at a loss. Should I have sold him? Who would even want him, no one would pay for him in the state he was in, and deep down I had this tiny ember of a dream burning bright. I was so lost in my new role as a mother and the resposibility that goes with it. They say you don't know what it is like to be a parent until you are, and they are right! I love my children so much I lost a part of myself and began losing balance in my life. I suffered from chronic guilt that if I was spending time with my horse I was a bad mother, and if I spent all my time with my children I was a bad horse owner. I could not win. Society looks at "mothers" more highly over a "woman's identity" so my choice was made.
As the kids grew I knew I had to do something with Ace, selling him was not an option. 
I wanted to train him and pick up where we began years ago, but how? Where would I get help, and how could we pay for any extras in these hard times? Too embarassed to go back to Marion, not to mention too broke! 7 years had passed since he had a saddle on or was made to do anything aside from stand for the farrier. He is 10 years old.
I wanted to train him and pick up where we began years ago, but how? Where would I get help, and how could we pay for any extras in these hard times? Too embarassed to go back to Marion, not to mention too broke! 7 years had passed since he had a saddle on or was made to do anything aside from stand for the farrier. He is 10 years old.Now, I am not a "God-ly" person, as such, but I put it out there, and waited ....
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